Do It Yourself – Beginners’ Tool Kit for New Dictators

Photo: Viktor Orbán/Facebook Photo: Viktor Orbán/Facebook

Beginners’ Tool Kit for New Dictators – Inventory:

 

Box 1 Non Recyclable Items (obligatory part of the kit!)

Children born with sickness or disability. Families bringing up such children.

Sick or disabled adults and their families.

Invalid persons unfit for work. Their family members.

Elderly people unfit for peace march and vote (with some kind of dementia etc.).

 

Box 2 Items to be Shaped

Young adults not commited to any parties because they do not understand politics and because they only want to create safety for their family.

Voters living in extreme poverty, their vote is for sale for a kilo of potatoes (price due once in four years).

Females above 50, past their child-bearing age.

Persons with minimum wages.

Communal workers.

Uncertain voters.

Retired persons with minimal pensions.

 

Box 3 Useful Items

Citizens easy to fanaticise.

Adult robots easy to be activated.

Citizens swallowing anything and its opposite as well without questions, not able to think independently and typically clinging enamouredly to one person.

Middle-aged persons easily threatened and at the same time blackmailed in their livelyhood.

Volunteers hoping for financial gain.

 

Box 4 Necessities

Bigoted, inconvincible fans.

More or less literate web-fighters.

Protesters operational in hostile areas, board-, placard- banner- and loudspeaker-carriers.

Fanatics attacking their own children and grandchildren in order to protect the Leader.

Enthusiasts not listening to reason and facts because of their limited thinking capacity.

 

Box 5 Integral items

Soldiers executing orders without any moral restraint or conscience.

Officials effectuating every instruction without thinking or objection.

Middle managers ready to serve the interests of any government because of financial reasons or for office advancement.

Employees greedy for money gained from politics and ready to support anything if ordered.

Young adults with enough ambition to trample anyone, and narrow-minded enough to do so not because of their own principles, but because they want to be the part of the existing hierarchy of power.

 

Box 6 Auxiliary items

Pressworkers obeying every instruction.

Media rats ready to discredit anyone any time and by any means; public figures, authors, poets, musicians, scientists, actors, directors and other mediocre grabbers seeking and indulging the needs of the actual power elite.

 

Box 7 Main items

Top managers appearing as politicians.

Arrogant and ignorant parasites to be used at any post or in any area.

Strawmans prepared to do anything for profit.

Yeomen familiar with legislation and the implementation of law.

 

Box 8 Waste

Artists and public figures capable to form indepentent opinions.

Journalists, media workers, human rights and other activists independentof the government.

Civilians going against the actual power.

Agitators knowing and demanding their rights.

Intellectuals able to address a greater mass of people, formulating independent thoughts and raising objections against the will of the all-time government.

Liberals.

Young adults having a future vision, able and willing to discuss it.

Citizens politicizing but not serving the actual regime.

 

Box 9 Useful accessories

Support from church.

Nationalism.

Xenophobia.

Instigation.

Scare-mongering.

False statistics.

Advertisments.

Counter Terrorism Centre.

Billboards.

Newspaper articles, television and radio programmes.

Envy.

Ignorance.

Misinformation.

Falsification of history.

 

Box 10 Ornamental items

Cockades.

Ringing the bells at noon.

1848.

1956.

Martyrdom.

Heroism.

Soccer.

Trianon.

Nation torn apart.

Sense of mission.

Tufted hairgrass.

Bullwhip.

Busó-Parade.

A razor-wire fence.

WeHungarians.

WeWillAllDie.

 

Box 11 Profit to be expected

Power.

Business with the Hungarian Settlement Bonds.

Advertisment market.

Financial support of the EU.

Hungarian resources.

Whole economic sectors.

Real estates, castles, hotels, lands, forests.

Luxury cars, vineyards, patent rights.

Relatives standing on their own two feet, (in)dependent wives, young mistresses.

Incalculable wealth, offshore bank accounts, business seemingly managed by strawmen, real estates abroad, yachts.

Protection, untouchability, confidence due to being above the law.

Assembly guide:

From the above components one can create a good working unit. Trouble-free livelihood, guaranteed income. Risk is minimal, as the century-old experience shows the unit is foolproof any time and under any circumstances. Except for the noise in the engine room at the start, it runssmoothly, does not attract notice. Return on investment is quick and assured. The unit is fitting into any enviroment, provided that it is established in the former Socialist Bloc. Pay-off is guaranteed.

Name of unit:

Hungary.

Written by Edgar Swan, 05/03/2017

Translated by Eszter Somogyi

Edited by Réka Eszter Szabó

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